Guru's Compassion
Right from my boyhood I loved being alone. I was not having any contact with the outside world. I was not at all liking that sort of relationship.
I have done this, will God be pleased with it?-these kinds of thoughts and feelings never used to occur to me. One can say I was not having any sort of relationship with God. I was not knowing all these things also. I was neither praying to HIM nor asking HIM to give me anything or do anything to me.
Even if anyone died or anything got stolen, ruined or destroyed, even if anything happened to anyone or anything, I was not at all feeling bad. In
a way those days were splendid, I think. Now, if anything bad happens to any living creature or to any devotee, I cannot bear it at all. I get terribly
disturbed. I wonder why and how this has happened. I don't understand it at all. I feel those were glorious days. I was sort of a king or an emperor all by myself. I was one with God. Now lot of responsibility has fallen on my shoulders. Responsibility means, not that I am doing anything. Things go on happening automatically by themselves.
In worldly affairs, even if some little thing goes wrong, it creates problems. Even a little boredom, a little dissatisfaction because of anything creates difficulties. Even a little upset or disturbance in anything becomes a problem. This is what has happened. Praying to HIM to keep everyone fine, everyone happy, I am spending my days, that's all.
Right from my boyhood I loved being alone. I was not having any contact with the outside world. I was not at all liking that sort of relationship.
I have done this, will God be pleased with it?-these kinds of thoughts and feelings never used to occur to me. One can say I was not having any sort of relationship with God. I was not knowing all these things also. I was neither praying to HIM nor asking HIM to give me anything or do anything to me.
Even if anyone died or anything got stolen, ruined or destroyed, even if anything happened to anyone or anything, I was not at all feeling bad. In
a way those days were splendid, I think. Now, if anything bad happens to any living creature or to any devotee, I cannot bear it at all. I get terribly
disturbed. I wonder why and how this has happened. I don't understand it at all. I feel those were glorious days. I was sort of a king or an emperor all by myself. I was one with God. Now lot of responsibility has fallen on my shoulders. Responsibility means, not that I am doing anything. Things go on happening automatically by themselves.
In worldly affairs, even if some little thing goes wrong, it creates problems. Even a little boredom, a little dissatisfaction because of anything creates difficulties. Even a little upset or disturbance in anything becomes a problem. This is what has happened. Praying to HIM to keep everyone fine, everyone happy, I am spending my days, that's all.
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